Determining What Matters Most

In our lives, it is important to determine what things matter to us. Who do we want to be remembered as? What would be said if someone was asked the question “What do you remember most about him/her?” We must figure out for ourselves the things that matter most and then live our lives accordingly.

Creating a List of What Matters Most

How do we determine what matters most? For some, this has been ingrained during the years between childhood and adulthood. For instance, my belief that family is one of the things that matters most comes from the examples and teachings of my parents. Other items that matter most in our lives are learned through the experiences we have or the lessons life has taught us.

I believe everyone should take time to figure out the things that matter most to them. For me, I have made decisions at key points in my life that have made my determinations. However, if I had to do it over again, or give my 18-year-old self advice, I would take some time to create the list and then reference it often.

One technique for creating the list is to use a brainstorming method. For instance, you could:

1. Take a sheet of paper
2. Think about the things that matter most
3. Write down anything that comes to mind
4. Stop after 3 minutes
5. Review the list of items you wrote down and begin to rank them from most important to least important
6. Once ranked, take the top 3-5 items and put them somewhere you can see them multiple times per day

Writing down the things that matter most to you and seeing that list every day will begin to incorporate those things in your life. You will look at life through the lens of those things that matter most and make decisions based on those items.

What Matters Most Is What Lasts Longest

In his address, “Remember What Matters Most“, President M. Russell Ballard shares his list of items that matter most. He shares with us that one of the lessons learned by his children from their mother was that “what matters most is what lasts longest.”

Following President Ballard’s advice, I have looked inwards and verified that I do have a list of what matters most. My list and his list are very similar.

Our Relationship With God

The first item on my list is my relationship with God. I know that He exists and that I am His son. I know that He cares about me and wants what’s best for me, even if I don’t think that my current experiences agree. Through prayer and witnesses, I have a relationship that is eternal in nature and will be one of the longest-lasting things that matter.

Our Relationship With Christ

The second item on my list is my relationship with Christ. I know that the first principle of the gospel is “faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ” (Articles of Faith #4). To have faith in someone is to know them. In order for me to have faith in Christ, I have to have a relationship with Him. One way to have that relationship is to study His life and teachings and to live life as He lived His.

Our Relationship With The Holy Ghost

President Ballard talks about heeding the promptings of the Holy Ghost. However, we cannot receive promptings if we don’t have a relationship with the Holy Ghost. Because the Holy Ghost can be inside of us and teach, comfort, and reinforce, we can learn how He speaks to us. Sometimes the way He speaks to us changes over time or has a different level of intensity.

When I was 18 and trying to determine if The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was God’s church and if the Book of Mormon was His word, I prayed one night in my dorm room. That night I received a witness from the Holy Ghost that I felt throughout my body. Over the next year or so, I would experience a similar feeling when the Holy Ghost spoke to me. Today, I don’t have that same full-body experience. Instead, I experience more of what is called the “still, small voice” or an impression that enters my mind. These are “softer” ways in which the Holy Ghost speaks to me.

Family

Family is on my list of what matters most. As I said earlier, this was taught and shown by my parents. I’ve never doubted that family matters and the love of family is in the top three most important matters we can be engaged in.

Currently, I have felt that I have failed my family. Through no fault of my own, my position at work was eliminated. I have spent the last few months trying to secure employment that will allow my family to have the necessities of life. However, I haven’t secured that employment yet and have been rejected numerous times as I’ve searched. This weighs on me and a couple of times made me doubt myself as a professional, husband, and father. I know this stems from the fact that family is one of the things that matters most to me and I can’t bear not being there providing for them.

But there is more to keeping family as something that matters most than just providing. There are the relationships I have with my spouse, children, and extended family. These relationships are very important as well and I strive to ensure that they are strong. Even when there are disagreements or hurt, I try to make sure that the family member knows I love them and will not hold anything over their heads.

Conclusion

The things that matter most to us shape our lives and affect how we live. Having an understanding of these items allows us to make decisions that are aligned and harmonious. We can determine what matters most through introspection. Finally, “what matters most is what lasts longest” should be our yardstick. For me, that means my relationships with God, Christ, the Holy Ghost, and my family.

Tips for Teaching

When teaching this discussion, you might want to consider:

1. Ask the participants what things matter most to them. Why?
2. Discuss some of the things that matter most to you and why.
3. Explore the phrase “What matters most is what lasts longest.” How can this statement change what we believe matters most?