How Do I See?

At the end of his October 2025 address titled “And Now I See,” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland sang these words from Amazing Grace:

Amazing Grace-how sweet the sound-
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

“Amazing Grace,” Hymns–For Home and Church, Gospel Library

Elder Holland’s address has caused me to wonder how I see. I’ve pondered his words and reflected on my life. I share the times in my life that have shown me how I see.

Before I delve into my personal moments, I think sharing the story of the blind man Jesus healed with spit and dirt is important. The story can be found in the ninth chapter of John, verses one through seven.

“And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. … When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay, And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, (which is by interpretation, Sent.) He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing.”

Later, the man was questioned by the Pharisees about his healing. After the Pharisees tried to convince the man that Jesus was a sinner, the man states, “He answered and said, Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see” (John 9:25).

We come into this world innocent, and in a sense, blind to that which is spiritual and true. We don’t know that Jesus is the Christ. We learn about Him, and over time, we have experiences that open our eyes to see He is our Lord and Redeemer.

What is the spit and clay that anointed my eyes, and when washed, caused me to see? Here are some of the many moments.

When I was seven, two young missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints knocked on our door. My mom was looking for the truth, and when they stated what they were doing, she invited them in. These young men were dressed in suits, smiled, laughed, and shared the gospel with us. I don’t remember all the lessons they taught. However, I do remember one that opened my eyes to the gospel.

The missionaries were teaching about the restoration of the Melchizedek Priesthood and showed a picture of Peter, James, and John ordaining Joseph Smith to this Priesthood. The missionary teaching the lesson looked and me and asked, “Do you know who those three people are?” I was a confident seven-year-old and answered immediately, “That’s easy, that’s God, that’s Jesus, and that’s the Holy Ghost.” I knew what they were teaching was true. The missionary chuckled and gently corrected me, but I remember the feeling and the truth they brought into our house.

As a teenager, my testimony waned. Today, we would call it a faith crisis. Mine lasted for several years until I went to college. My freshman year at BYU, I took the Book of Mormon 101 class. I was fortunate enough to have Dennis Largey as my instructor. He converted to the gospel as a young adult, and his love of the Book of Mormon inspired me. Around my birthday that fall I had an overwhelming desire to know if the Book of Mormon was God’s word and if the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was God’s church restored to the earth.

One night when my roommate was out of our room, I knelt down and meaningfully prayed for the first time in my life. I asked God to let me know if the Book of Mormon was true and if the church I was baptized in ten years prior was His church. I did not see an angel. I did however, have a tingling sensation from the top of my head through to the bottoms of my feet. I knew that was the Holy Ghost affirming to me the truthfulness of the gospel. My eyes had been opened once again.

A year and a half later, I began my own service as a missionary for the church. It was a time of struggle, hardship, joy, reward, miracles, and the presence of the Holy Ghost. I have story upon story that continued to open my eyes and help me see.

Today, I marvel at the logic of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I stand in awe of the plan God has made that will allow all of His children to have the opportunity to accept the gospel and return to live with Him. The plan shows tremendous foresight. It has the perfect balance of justice and mercy.

How do I know? This year, we have been studying the Doctrine and Covenants for Come, Follow Me. The history of how the church has come forth and the introduction of the ordinances and covenants God has created speaks to my logical mind. Everything makes sense and fits into harmony with everything I expect a loving Father would do.

Finally, continuing revelation given to the Prophet and leaders of the church opens my eyes so I can see. The Lord reveals to these, His chosen leaders, what the world needs today. The Holy Ghost, just as he did when I was in college, confirms these revelations to me.

Personally, I receive revelation in my life. I know that I am blessed when I heed what the Holy Ghost reveals. I see more and more through this process. I echo what Elder Holland stated, “Since those first experiences, I have had a thousand-ten thousand?-other evidences that what I have spoken of today is true.”

I “Was blind, but now I see.” Thanks to God for finding the spit and dirt to make the clay that anointed my eyes, and when washed, allowed me to see. May we all express the same sentiment of being “blind, but now I see.”