Pride

President Ezra Taft Benson was the church’s president throughout my teenage years. I remember seeing him at the Hill Cumorah during a scout jamboree. One of my most impactful spiritual experiences came when he spoke to us. There was a tarp spread out over the speaking area. It was a warm, sunny day and the tarp provided shade. President Benson began to speak, but quickly turned and said “I can’t read my talk.” Since this was a gathering of scouts and scout leaders, a leader quickly got on a chair and cut a square out of the tarp using his pocket knife. There, in the place where Joseph Smith learned about the gospel and received the gold plates, a prophet of God was addressing a Latter-day Saint Jamboree with a “pillar of light” shining down on him.

When I was 19 and decided to serve a mission, this same prophet signed my call. Due to some problems in Bolivia, I was reassigned while in the MTC to Chile. I received a second call, signed by this same prophet. To say his life influenced me would be an understatement.

One of President Benson’s hallmark teachings is pride. Mormon, writing to his son Moroni, stated, “Behold, the pride of this nation, or the people of the Nephites, hath proven their destruction except they should repent” (Moroni 8:27). Pride is something we need to be aware of so we do not follow the Nephites’ path and fall off the covenant path.

Elder David A. Bednar reminds us of President Benson’s teachings in his October 2024 address, “In the Space of Not Many Years.” In it, he discusses the hardening of hearts that occurred in the Nephite nation. He warns that the same can happen to us if we are not vigilant.

What Is Pride?

In the context of what we are discussing, pride is anything that causes us to lift ourselves above others in a judgmental way. In other words, when we look down on others and think we are better than they are, we have pride. When we flaunt our fashion to elevate ourselves above our neighbors, we have pride. When we make fun of others for perceived “weaknesses” and boast about our own “strengths” we have pride. When we believe that we have all the answers and do not need the help of anyone, including God, we have pride. These are a few examples of what I mean by pride.

Watching Friends Leave

Over the past few years, I have seen many friends leave the faith. I always ask myself “Why have they left?” I don’t feel it’s any of my business to know the reasons why but it does leave me sad watching them go. Luckily, I have been able to still interact with many of them and continue the friendship we have.

Why do I bring this up? When someone leaves, I have to check my own pride. I mentioned that I feel sad and ask, “Why have they left?” This leaves me vulnerable to feelings of judgment and looking down on them. I work hard to check that pride and to remember that each person is responsible for their own faith journey.

This means that I’m responsible for my faith journey. How can I continue to enjoy the blessings I receive if I hold resentment for my friends who have left? How can I continue to receive the guidance of the Holy Ghost if I judge those who have walked away?

The simple answer to these questions is I cannot enjoy the blessing or receive the guidance of the Holy Ghost if I let pride enter into my heart and resent or judge these friends.

How to Keep Our Pride in Check?

As I mentioned, pride can distance us from the influence of the Holy Ghost. How do we then keep our pride in check? For me, the first thing I have to do is take a deep breath. This prevents a “knee-jerk” reaction. It also allows me to calm my emotions and think more rationally. In turn, I’m able to empathize more and see the situation from a different point of view.

An example of this is when I see an “anti-LDS” post on my social media feeds. Reading/viewing the post will create an initial reaction. My pride would demand that I correct the wrong, point out the flaws in the argument, and list off the sources that prove the post is not correct.

After taking a deep breath, I realize that this initial reaction is not how Jesus would respond. Almost every time, the answer is to NOT respond. It is not my job to counter the posts that show up on my “For You” feed. I don’t follow those people, I don’t have interactions with them. It’s best if I leave that to people who do follow and have interactions with them.

The other thing that checking my pride does in these situations is to allow the Holy Ghost to testify to the truths of the gospel. Next, I feel my testimony strengthened because I have received another witness. Finally, I am led to love the poster and because of that, I don’t want to introduce contention.

What about interactions with those I do personally know? I admit, it’s harder to check my pride in these situations. We know each other, might have common interests outside of religion, our kids may be friends, or we may even work with one another. This situation is a little different because I feel that it is my role to help explain things.

The prideful explanation would be to either appear condescending or mocking to the other person. That way leads to injured or broken relationships. It can create a barrier to that person feeling the Holy Ghost down the road.

While I may not take a physical deep breath in these situations, I do take a mental one. Again, this “deep breath” calms my emotions and allows for the Holy Ghost to help. I can rely on that help to lovingly explain my views and share what I know with my friends. Even if we disagree, it can be done with love. That way our relationship doesn’t suffer injury or irreparable harm. Sometimes, it even leads to the person seeking me out when another question is raised.

Elder Bednar states, “At the individual level, each of us must ‘beware of pride, lest [we] become as the Nephites of old.’

May I suggest that if you or I believe we are sufficiently strong and stalwart to avoid the arrogance of pride, then perhaps we already are suffering from this deadly spiritual disease. Simply stated, if you or I do not believe we could be afflicted with and by pride, then we are vulnerable and in spiritual danger. In the space of not many days, weeks, months, or years, we might forfeit our spiritual birthright for far less than a mess of pottage.

If, however, you or I believe we could be afflicted with and by pride, then we consistently will do the small and simple things that will protect and help us become ‘as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us].’ ‘Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble.’”

Conclusion

Pride distances us from the Holy Ghost. It leads us to rely on ourselves and to not seek the help and guidance that God provides. We can check our pride when situations arise by doing small and simple things, sometimes called the primary answers. If you find yourself in a situation where you want to instantly react, take a deep breath. Allow yourself to become calm, seek the Holy Ghost, and check your pride. If you will, you will find your love for yourself and others will grow and the Holy Ghost will be your constant companion.