As a technology architect, one of the traps I have to watch out for is what we call “analysis paralysis”. This means that I try to make my architecture analysis perfect and end up in a loop of refining and refining my architecture until that perfection is reached. Shockingly, the perfection of a technology architecture cannot be obtained. Instead, this trap leads to endless conversations without ever producing anything.
The same can be said in our lives if we are constantly trying to perfect everything. Elder Vern P. Stanfill talks about this perfectionism in “The Imperfect Harvest“. He notes that only God can perfect something and that we have to strive to give our best in order for that perfecting to be performed.
What Is Perfectionism?
The dictionary definition of perfectionism is “refusal to accept any standard that is short of perfection.” Personally, I believe the definition should be anything that we continue to obsess over instead of accepting “good enough” or “good enough for now”. “It is often a temptation in our world and even within the culture of the Church to obsess about perfection” states Elder Stanfill. Later he says:
Remember that perfectionism is not the same as being perfected in Christ. Perfectionism requires an impossible, self-inflicted standard that compares us to others. This causes guilt and anxiety and can make us want to withdraw and isolate ourselves.
The Imperfect Harvest (emphasis added)
Perfectionism is then a standard we set upon ourselves and reinforces when we make comparisons to others. An example is social media. How many of us compare our worst to what others are showing as their best on sites like Instagram or TikTok? Can we really be exactly like what they are portraying? Are we creating an unrealistic goal for ourselves?
Christ Perfects Us
We cannot perfect ourselves. We can only do our best and be “good enough”. When that occurs then Jesus Christ has the ability and authority to perfect us. Moroni advises us to “Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him. .. and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ” (Moroni 10:32).
As we accept the Savior’s invitation to come unto Him, we soon realize that our best is good enough and that the grace of a loving Savior will make up the difference in ways we cannot imagine.
The Imperfect Harvest
Once I thought that if I didn’t spend every spare moment studying the gospel I couldn’t make it. I felt guilty for having other interests that weren’t rooted in strictly spiritual activities. I have come to understand that we are to engage in other activities that do us good. For instance, we need physical activity so our bodies can remain healthy and strong. Mental activities help us to sharpen our minds and keep our neural connections healthy. Social activities help us to feel connected to others and enjoy the company of those around us. None of these are bad and should be done so that we can live as rich a life as we can.
We do have to make time for the spiritual. We need to do it every day and ask for God to be with us when we do other “non-spiritual” activities. In this way He can be present even if we aren’t doing those things we would consider strictly gospel.
How Does the Savior Perfect Us?
Let’s turn our attention to how the Savior perfects us. Elder Stanfill illustrates this through the story of Peter coming out of the boat and walking on water (Matthew 14:27-31). The Savior invites Peter to come out to Him on the water and Peter starts off. However, the external environment captures Peter’s attention, and his faith wavers. He starts to sink and pleads for the Savior to save Him. Of course, Jesus reaches down and pulls him back on top of the water. I think that we miss this part of the story. It doesn’t say that the Savior scooped Peter up in His arms and carried him back to the boat. What it says is “And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased” (Matthew 14:32, emphasis added). I believe that they walked together back to the ship with the Savior’s arm around Peter to bolster his faith.
How does that show us the means by which the Savior perfects us? Recently my position at my company was eliminated. This has caused me to go on a job search for the second time in three years. It has been a couple of months and so far no job. This week my faith wavered. I was feeling as though I wasn’t being blessed for my diligence. Friday came and I was down. I’m exhausted from the search, the stress, and the feeling of being a failure. I was weeping as I asked the Lord why. He answered by letting me know that my faith was good, that I am good enough, and that things will work out. I felt His arm around me guiding me back to the boat. I felt reassured that the winds will cease and this storm will abate if I just keep going.
I believe that is how the Savior perfects us. When we have done all we feel we can do, He comes in and loves us first, reassures us second, encourages us to continue on, and then lets us know that it will be all right. He knows what He is doing, and it will be for our benefit.
Overcoming Perfectionism
How does one overcome perfectionism? It takes practice and patience. I think the hardest thing for me is to understand when something is “good enough”. This can be tricky. When have I done enough? For activities I do frequently, the decision of good enough is easy. That’s because I have done these activities so often that I know when I’ve reached “enoughness”.
Infrequent activities are more difficult to gauge. The first few times it’s easy to try and get them perfect. For example, I have a pizza oven. It’s great for cooking personal pizzas, however, it takes practice to get the various components right. One of the most important components is the temperature of the oven. The first time I used the oven, I had the temperature too high and thus overcooked the pizzas. The second time I had the temperature too low and undercooked the pizzas. Each time I wanted perfect pizzas and was upset that I hadn’t reached pizza oven nirvana. It bugged me to no end. However, I have a friend that has a pizza oven and has become somewhat of a master with it. One night, we brought our pizza oven over to his house and cooked pizzas together. He gave me tips that allowed me to determine when my pizzas were good enough. I’m not a perfect pizza maker and that’s okay. I don’t have to be. I just have to be a good enough pizza maker so that the pizzas are enjoyable and I’m not frustrated.
Just like my friend helping me with the pizza oven, Jesus Christ can help us become more perfect. He teaches us the ways that will help us to be good enough so that He can then do what only He can and perfect us.
Conclusion
Perfectionism is a trap in which it is easy to fall. We want to do things perfectly, however, we are not perfect beings. We should strive to do and be “good enough” and rely on Christ to perfect us.
Tips for Teaching
You may want to consider the following as you discuss this topic:
- What is perfectionism? Why do we feel we have to do and be perfect?
- What does it mean to be good enough? Are there examples in your life where you felt you had done something good enough?
- Discuss Peter walking on the water and how Christ can make up for our shortcomings when we falter in faith.
- Helpful links:
Whether By Mine Own Voice 
Leave a comment